Good Grief Author: Irina Jiltsova in Calgary: An inspiring story

Victoria Givlin and Irina Jiltsova interview:

Irina Jilstova by Svetlana Yanova Photographer

IHW: Okay, share your journey creating this beautiful book called “Good Grief”.

Victoria: Well, thank you. I was wallowing at the end of last year, in 2024, and yeah, life was just... There were a lot of different fronts, many sides, that weren't great.

I've had this idea in my head for a couple of years—to create an anthology or collective, something like “Chicken Soup for the Soul”. I think a lot of us have some really beautiful stories, and I know we're not alone. So I wanted to write my own, to help me express more of what I've gone through, to look back at how far we've come and where we are now. I also wanted to reach out and build a community because I know other people have incredible stories too.

When Irina came on, I was like, "Oh my gosh, yes! Amazing." You really get right to the point in your story. I was just thinking, I don't know if I could handle even a bit of that. Yeah, so tell us the title of your chapter and your journey to rock bottom.

Irina: Well, like you, I've had this thought in my mind for a couple of years—to write down some of the experiences I've gone through in my relationships, especially after the fact. As you said, many people have different stories and lessons they've learned from them. Sharing mine has been part of a healing process—going back into that time, into that space.

During the writing, I might have relived some of those darker moments I might have avoided over the years. But overall, it's a way to put that part of my life down—to get it out of my head, out of my heart—and to move forward, if nothing else, in a meaningful way. Maybe one day, my story can serve as a survival guide for someone else.

And that can make their trials and tribulations a little easier to bear. For those who haven't read it yet, what kind of trials and tribulations did you go through that you hint at in your chapter?

The part I chose to write about was a past relationship, where my partner at the time decided to have an affair. He ended up getting the other woman pregnant. I learned about it, and honestly, I didn't do much about it at the time. But for me, it was the beginning of the end. It took a few years to reach that conclusion, but what happens when something tough occurs in real life is often a lesson about ourselves and our soul's growth.

That was my lesson—to take action. It took some time to understand that I needed to work through it and do something about it. It became a springboard for my personal development journey—learning who I am and who I’m not.

IHW: You mentioned about five years ago, right? So, your kids have a step- or half-sibling now?

Irina: Yes, the terminology is half-sibling. But unfortunately, my ex-husband decided not to be involved in that child's life. There’s been no contact—we never met the person, and they never met us. That's okay. The kids know the person exists, but that’s the extent of it.

Wow, that part of the story is really short. Yeah, there’s been no interaction at all. But I just felt like that was a very intense story—like a lifetime movie—and you should seriously think about turning it into a movie. It takes a lot of strength to go through something like that—something that rocks your world and leaves a lasting impact.

IHW: You also mentioned that, after everything, you turned things around and wanted to help others, especially financially. Did that come from your own experience, knowing you needed to be financially secure? How did you get into your current business?

Irina: Exactly. That period marked the beginning of the end for my previous life, even if I didn’t realize it right away. One of my first thoughts was about living in a two-income household with a certain lifestyle, and how becoming a single parent changes everything. When I decided to separate, I coincidentally came across someone in the financial industry. I learned a lot from that experience.

Even though I had an accounting degree from a few years prior, it didn’t teach me how to manage personal finances or build wealth. That’s something most people don’t learn unless they seek it out. Money isn’t discussed openly in our society, and many of us struggle through generations, hoping for a lottery win rather than knowing how to create financial stability ourselves.

During that time with the financial advising company—focused on education and insurance—I learned a lot about myself. The work involved direct selling, networking, and helping people understand their financial goals. It was a pivotal period for my personal growth—learning to stand on my own two feet financially, mentally, and emotionally.

I needed to learn quickly how to support myself because, even though I’d been in a relationship where I didn’t have to focus on money, now I had to. If I didn’t make money, I wouldn’t eat, and I love food! So that was my springboard—accepting where I was, even if I wasn’t proud of it, and deciding to move forward.

I spent many hours working with a personal coach, having internal conversations, because it’s so easy to get lost in negative thoughts—"I shouldn’t," "I couldn’t," "I’m not enough." I needed tools to shift my mindset and self-talk to get out of that rock bottom place and keep moving forward. Because, ultimately, no one is coming to save you.

IHW: Yes, the sun sets every day, and something new happens each day. I was curious—where are you now?

Irina: I believe my kids are my main motivation to stay strong. Because, as we know, people can lose their kids, fall into drugs, or face other hardships. Some reach rock bottom, and it’s tough. But in Canada, we’re privileged to have a certain standard of living, and I think we have a duty to maintain that dignity. It’s hard, but it shows that you have that strength within you.

IHW: Honestly, I think your story is very inspiring. Even though you didn’t deserve what happened, you’ve come through it. Sorry that it happened to you, but I think Victoria’s story is very similar—like it could be made into a movie.

IHW: What are you hoping to do now with “Good Grief”? Where are you guys headed?

Victoria: We’re planning more signings, including one coming up in Calgary, so people can meet us and network. Victoria and I are also planning to promote the book further. We’ve partnered with a couple of independent bookstores in Calgary—they’re excited to stock the book, and I’ll be dropping copies off soon.

The photos from the book launch just came in, and the video from the event will be ready soon. I’ve done some filming before, and I’ll bring my camera to take more interviews and footage. We want to get the word out as much as possible.

We’ve also partnered with Many Titans, a great kids’ entrepreneurial summer and March break camp, which teaches children business skills. They help kids develop ideas, work with mentors, and at the end, they sell what they’ve created. Some of the proceeds will go toward helping kids afford camp. It’s such a wonderful initiative—way healthier than cookies!

Of course, there are challenges with food regulations since they don’t have a food license, but I love that you're giving back with your product.

Absolutely. I believe all these projects—whether film or book—are about collaboration and helping the collective learn and grow. I haven’t had children myself, but I want people to pick up “Good Grief”, go through it, and have it resonate with them. If something happens to me someday, I want to be able to say, "Look at what I’ve been through," and inspire others.

IHW: Where can people find you to connect—whether as a life coach or for financial advice?

Irina: You can find me on Instagram and LinkedIn under Irina Jiltsova. Otherwise, through I’m Here With Magazine. I’m also open to speaking engagements, especially for women’s groups interested in financial literacy or personal development.

If someone’s going through a tough time—debt, relationship issues, or just needing guidance—I’m here to listen, brainstorm, and share experiences. I won’t solve your problems for you, but I can offer support and perspective. It takes courage to ask questions and seek help, and sometimes, just having someone listen makes a big difference.

People often underestimate how much they can figure out on their own, but having an empathetic ear helps. Remember: people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care. Building that trust is key.

IHW: Thank you so much, ladies. I hope everyone checks out “Good Grief”. We’ve all been obsessed with it lately! You can find it on Amazon. Read the stories, learn from the authors—it might just help you see life differently.

Amazon: https

://www.amazon.ca/Good-Grief-Anthology-Acceptance-Healing/

https://www.instagram.com/irinajiltsova?igsh=MWY1bGdjYmJobGI0MQ==

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